Well, it's been 12 weeks since we found out about our baby's birth defect, and I feel like I don't really know more now than I knew then. We've been to the specialist twice and to my OB a couple of times, but they haven't really been able to get a good look at his lip. Even if they could get a good look, the ultrasound might completely distort what his cleft will look like. So basically, we're not really going to know what our baby will look like until he is born. I was so frustrated about that at first, but I am trying really hard to be patient and to just have faith.
My favorite quote lately is from Bishop Edgley's talk from conference about faith:
" There is much that I do not know. . . But while I don't know everything, I know the important. . . And what I don't know or don't completely understand, with the powerful aid of my faith, I bridge the gap and move on. . . "
So I am trying to bridge the gap and move on.
What we HAVE found out from the ultrasounds is that he is growing perfectly and everything else looks great. That is always so good to hear. And really, that's what matters. I am grateful.
I have been so blessed to have a lot of support through all of this. I have been in contact with two moms whose babies were born with clefts, and they have been so good to sympathize and answer my million questions. I also found a group of moms from Utah whose kids were born with clefts and who got treatment at Primary Childrens. They have such a great support system going on. They have an online group with before and after pictures, surgeon recommendations, and answers to lots of questions. They share their inspirational stories. They have annual parties, play dates, and participate in the 5k/1mile run for Operation Smile, a group that helps kids with clefts. I feel a lot better knowing that I'm not going into this alone. It is so nice to be able to talk to other people who have gone through this.
I've also had so many friends and family reach out to me and support me in my hard times. Thank you.
I have no idea what kinds of things we're going to go through with this baby. There will be lots of unanswered questions for the next 8 weeks. But I am okay to wait. I am so excited to see this little baby! I know that the minute I see him, all my worries and fears will wash away.